YLLAM Blog

In most sports even outside the strength world, the message continues to be clear. Women exist to turn men on sexually, first, as our primary means of measuring self-worth, even during an athletic competition. Hey that’s cool that you have a 500lb squat, but what do you look like in a bikini? Oh sweetie, men don’t care about your world record dumbbell lift, they just want to you look sexy in a dress. Nice deadlift, but you really need to get a boob job! And above all else, remember it’s not “sexy” to compete as a heavyweight athlete as a woman.

Telling us to always love our bodies is just another way of teaching women to require perfection in themselves. The only thing that could be loved all the time is a perfect thing. Everything else has flaws. There isn’t anything on the planet that any of us unconditionally loves all the time, and we should be allowed to include our own damn bodies on that list.

With several of these speakers in the fitness industry, their toxic influence cannot be overlooked. Do you want to unknowingly support a fitness guru who is calling you “lethal” because of the color of your hair? Awareness is important and cannot be undervalued. 

“Be the bigger person is bullshit advice. My bigness is not determined by my capacity to quietly absorb bullying, degradation, or abuse.” – author unknown

Recently, a friend of mine shared one of YLLAM’s Facebook posts. One of the responses from a man was, “Have you thought about not caring?”

When you are truly happy with yourself and accomplishing things that others cannot, you become a magnet for negativity. My success in strength sports meant I grew a social media following, and this added to the amount of online trolling that I received.

Too often women have been told to sit down, be quiet, get ‘thicker skin’ and to ignore their abuser. This tactic does nothing but isolate the victim and make her feel like she is the one who has done something wrong. Worse, reading these comments with no visible opposition gives the appearance that this is an acceptable way to speak to women.

Posting a progress photo of your biceps does not give someone the right to say “too big! Looking like a man.” Posting a video of your deadlift does not give someone the right to say “that’s too much weight for a girl, those are men’s weights.” Posting a photo of your weight loss does not give someone the right to tell you “you looked better before.” Free speech is free, but not without consequence.